Although I did need a tutor, falling in love was something I certainly didn’t need. I’ve always been sapiosexual, I’ve little or no regard for looks over your intelligence; I certainly was fascinated about his intelligence, I just wanted to sit with him all day and pick out his brains.
Oh! he was such a great teacher, he taught me slowly and tenderly you could always see the passion in his eyes: which made me wonder if he was just as passionate about other things too.
He never looked at me flirtatiously, he never made an attempt to touch me, never deviated from the topic. The fact that he paid me no attention got me more enamoured with him, I was drawn in deeper by the little notes that always accompanied the assignment he gave me.
Countless times I found myself smiling down at my “assignments”. I started to engage him in conversations mid classes, he was an open book, he’d tell me any and every thing but he never asked me any question.
I look back at the topics we treated and I remember each conversation, each movement of my body, each graze attached to each topic.
He always tried to not make eye contact with me, but when he did…his gaze was piercing like he could see my soul.
He started to ask questions, he started to laugh, tell jokes, even FLIRTING! I was amazed what happened? what changed? I got to know he also liked me but was shy about saying it ; I’d never been so shocked…”I’ve finally found a good guy!” I thought to my self. I enjoyed getting to know him as did he…I guess. He already had me from the onset, I never for once noticed his flaws.
Until…I started to notice his flirty nature, he looked at everything in a skirt and I was the only one oblivious to that.
I realized that I truly didn’t matter to him, I can’t believe I opened up to him…I told him my deepest secret.
I ended our tutor sessions…wrote my exam…and got 96%. Hey! I did tell you he was an amazing tutor didn’t I, my only regret was not being able to set my feelings aside possibly I could have gotten 100%
I’m left with questions, “did he ever love me?” Or “did he just enjoy being seen with me? ”
I know for a fact that he didn’t deserve me.
He had a penchant for saying “this is the hardest it can get, I think” truly the hardest part was believing what was right in front of me.